Archive for the 'metaentries' Category

Relationship suffocation, anyone? Anyone?

8 January 2008

I’m new here, so imagine my feeling when I take my first look at the search-engine terms which have drawn people here in recent days and find this one: “suffocate a relationship.” What are you looking for, a how-to guide? It’s weird, and kind of creepy. Maybe it’s something about the word “suffocate.”

Yes, it may say something about me that that search brought them here, but for me it was a turn of phrase, not what I’m looking for. Who searches for that? (Not to judge or anything. Whoever you are, pull up a chair and stay for a while. Just don’t get too close, or, well, you know.)

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The First Entry.

28 December 2007

Each journal entry carries the hope of being the first of many and the burden of prior false starts, as though regularity alone were a virtue, as though every sentence and every entry were justified only if it were followed by another.

I’ve never excelled at writing entries regularly. My last was 380 days ago, or so. This is partly from malaise, partly from business and an easy distractibility, partly from a fear of the banal. Some people write appealing words about their daily lives; I write better thematically. The chronological element is not series of events, but the evolving salience of competing and complementary themes.

I do feel a need to write more, but it doesn’t flow. I want to do lots of things here: I want to make a list of my failings, and talk about them, not as an exercise in masochism, but to understand them. I want to think about the people I know, and why my relationships with them seem so basically unsatisfying at times. I want to get my fingers back into practice doing good, honest writing that doesn’t have all those extra, superfluous, unnecessary, gratuitous, redundant, unneeded words that slide into my academic writing, despite a professed commitment to writing Strunkian prose.

So, a metaentry to exorcise hopes and burdens.

Reposted from the old site: Thursday, January 18th, 2007